Leading figures from West Midlands football have agreed to answer the questions of Row Z readers.*
 This week it's the turn of Aston Villa chairman Doug Ellis to take his place in the hotseat: Row Z: Thank you very much for agreeing to meet us, Mr Ellis. DE: Word. Row Z: Before we get to our readers' questions, can we just comment on the fact that you seem to be projecting a rather more, erm, youthful image than many people may be used to. DE: I'm down with that. It's all about the streets. It's all about one-on-one with my homeboys. The notorious D.O.U.G wants the word to reach people on their level. You know what I'm saying? So from now on I shall be known by my street name, 30 Pence. Row Z: Okay, 30... DE: That's Mr Pence to you, young man Row Z: Right. Let's take our first question. Why don't you just **** off you complete ****? Andy, Solihull DE: Bring it on, dawg. Anyone want to take his steps on to the floor and dance can just come the heck on. Ol' 30 Pence here will whip his sorry punk bottom. I might, if the circumstances dictate it necessary, bust a cap in that bottom. Ain't no mutha got his s*** down on me. Will money be made available for the manager to spend when the transfer window reopens in January? Alfie, Harborn DE: People always try to hustle the 30 pence. But I'm too smart for that s***. And I think it was my homeboy Dr Dre who said: 'Given the depressed state of the current soccer market, an over-extension of capital outlay would not make business sense.' So there. Why haven't you given successive managers greater amounts to spend in the transfer market? Will, Walsall DE: You pullin' on the Penceman's chain, Will? We've been laying out green, and I'm talking long green, since you were just a young shaver. Ain't no faulta mines that we've bought a lot of rubbish. Well, except Ginola, maybe. I'll put my hand up to that one. Yo' momma. Richard, Moseley DE: Yo, yo, don't be dragging nobody's mommas into this. This s*** is down between me and you, dawg. You want to bring it on, bring it on. Any time. Well, actually, perhaps not on the first Thursday of the month because I've got Rotary commitments, but apart from that, any time. You've come in for a lot of criticism over the years. Has it ever crossed your mind to just walk away from the whole thing? DE: You know, 30 Pence ain't made of solid stone. I hear the cries of my brothers and sisters and it cuts, man, it cuts when they rag on me. But you're talking to a man who's as lean as they come. Hear me now: 'I take you on a thrilla/
I'm the real Dougzilla/
Ain't gettin' no chilla/
I'm the majority shareholda/
And anyone who wishes to purchase my controlling interest/
Will have to come up with a substantial offer.' Some critics claim your approach to running Aston Villa is too 'hands on'. What would you say to those critics? Graham, Sutton Coldfield DE: These punks need to back the **** off. Ain't nobody going to stroll into my hood and whip me like they is my daddy. It's all about respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me, dawg. Doesn't it depress you when you turn up at Villa Park for a game and the stadium's half-empty. Jess, Stirchley DE: I always prefer to think that the stadium's half-full, Jess. How does it feel to read former managers having a go at you in the press? Paul, Halesowen DE: Ain't no good thing. You know, they say this stuff about 30 Pence, the Dougman, and they ain't got no clue what's really going down. But sometimes I get so mad I just want to grab my nine, get my crew together and fax over a demand for a retraction at the soonest opportunity. Can you ever see a day when you will leave Villa Park? Mark, Birmingham DE: No man knows what the future holds. But the king don't just toss out his crown, no what I'm sayin'? If you could say one thing to your critics, what would it be? David, Wishaw DE: To the non-believers, I say 'peace'. But I ain't mad at ya. 30 Pence ain't got nothin' but love in his heart for y'all. Row Z: Unfortunately, that's all we've got time for. Thank you, Doug Ell... 30 Pence. 30P: No doubt, dawg. * no they haven't. We've made the whole thing up. | 
Row Z 
