Albion fans may have got a bit of a surprise on Sunday evening. A mere 10 minutes after their team's 1-0 loss at Fulham, manager Bryan Robson popped up on BBC1 as a contestant in Superstars.
 Initial investigations by Row Z suggested that the former England and Manchester United star - nicknamed 'Captain Marvel' because of his fondness for powdered milk - had, in fact, created a device that allowed him to circumvent the space/time continuum. Further investigation, however, suggested that the show had actually been recorded last autumn, which will come as a bit of a disappointment to those who feel that Robson's devotion to football has hindered his work as a pioneering quantum physicist. Nevertheless, Row Z is proud to republish exclusive extracts from Robson's own Superstars Diary... Day One Arrive at La Manga for Superstars. As a lad, this was one of me favourite shows on telly, so it's a real thrill to take part. Meet the lads at a pre-shoot briefing. The producer explains that we each have to take part in six events of a possible eight, but are not allowed to take part in our own specialist sports. That means I can't participate in the football competition or all-night drinking games in the hotel bar. Oh well! On with the show! Event 1 - Kayaking Bit apprehensive about this one but after a quick practice I get ready to give it a bash. I'm up against Martin Offiah and things are looking really good for the first 30 seconds, until an old shoulder injury flares up and hampers my stroke. This leads to me bringing the paddle up at an incorrect angle and giving meself a mild concussion and nasty scar, which requires six stitches. Event 2 - 50m swim A good start is wasted when an overcommitted dive causes me to graze me knees, feet, shoulders, forehead and torso on the bottom of the pool. This leads to a mild case of septicaemia which, combined with the concussion and shoulder injury, means I'm not in the best of shape as we head into the third event... Event 3 - Golf Got a feeling this will be me strongest event. Unfortunately, disaster strikes - quite literally. I've just hit me first shot when a bolt of lightening hits the end of me 9 iron and gives me a mild case of electrocution. I fight back to finish second behind Jonathan Davies. Event 4 - 100 metres Decide to sit this one out because my ears are still smoking from the lightening incident. Day Two Event 5 - Cross country It's fair to say I'm not at me best , what with the concussion, blood infection, shoulder injury, head wound and electrocution suffered on day one. But a few niggling injuries has never been enough to stop Bryan Robson, so off I go on the cross country. Make a good start but disaster strikes 20 seconds after the start when I fall over a discarded Twix wrapper and break both me legs. Manage to run in for a credible second, behind Tim Foster, but I'm feeling a bit of a twinge in both legs now. Event 6 - Football Forced to sit this one out. Probably just as well as I really am in quite a lot of pain. Event 7 - Gym tests Set off well on the squat-thrusts but disaster strikes after just 11 seconds, when me body's immune system packs up and I slip into a mild coma. Come round to finish a credible third, with the dips to come. The dips begin well but I hit problems shortly after the start when me left arm falls off. Manage to soldier on and finish a credible last, despite the severe blood loss. Event 8 - Mountain biking Get off to a good start but me problems start in the sixth second when I'm bitten by a rat and contract beubonic plague. Combined with the broken legs, lost limb, electrocution, septicaemia, concussion and grazed knees, it makes for quite an unpleasant ride but I battle through to finish a credible fourth, and in third place overall. So that's it, me Superstars adventure is over. It's been tremendous fun and the lads have been great. Would I do it again? Definitely - I just have to wait for me arm to grow back. | 
