 So that's it until February the 21st... thank God for that. Blood and thunder, tackles at a million miles an hour, blood, sweat and tears. That's what we expected, what we actually got was the biggest pile of turgid nonsense since Kevin Costner's The Postman hit the silver screen. This was like coming back from the pub after a few pints with your chinese takeaway, only to discover that 'The Premiership' had been replaced by 'The History of Guttering' fronted by Keith Chegwin. In case you are still wondering, I am referring to the much hyped Birmingham derby at St Andrews. I was there but I really wish I hadn't been. There was no skill, no real chances, no flare-ups on the pitch, nothing except boredom by the bucket load. And it was a bloody big bucket. If Tom Grumble was David O'Leary, I would be reaching for my magic marker, writing a 'for sale' sign and sticking it on Darius Vassell's jersey. Darius is a fantastic talent, but he is not what Villa need, he will succeed only in an Ole Gunner Solksjaer role for a top team.
Week in and week out, this boy will not change games for Villa, so I say sell him and use the money wisely on a play-maker. Villa can't accomodate him. If I were the boss (and I should be really), Allback, Angel and Dublin would be my top choices. Anyway, back to the game. It was always going to be tight but I also expected an end-to-end encounter. Unfortunately not. Savage and Cisse and McCann and Hendrie strangled the midfield of any invention.The ball was stuck to the centre spot and invariably surrounded by a whole posse of players. Any fans still awake after ten minutes should be applauded and refunded.
I gave up a charity golf function with three members of the Bill and half the cast of Heartbeat for this.
I gave up Mrs Grumble's beef dripping for this. How was I rewarded?
I was rewarded with the two biggest clubs in the Midlands prancing around like a bunch of nancies.
Tripe. Pure tripe. And my Bentley got a parking ticket. Bruce and O'Leary, I will be sending you the bill.
P.S. Wolves drew 0-0 - hardly ground-breaking... Albion beat Norwich... ZZZZZZZzzzzzz and Walsall did what they do best - lost. Is Tom Grumble right? E-mail me with your views. | 
Row Z 
