XXX2 - THE NEXT LEVEL (12A) is a high- octane sequel to Van Diesel's massive hit, XXX (10pm on Sky Movies 2 tonight).
Back in October 2002, this Czech-based thriller was cannily released weeks ahead of what turned out to be Pierce Brosnan's final outing as James Bond.
Since then Pierce has been axxxed, Diesel's daredevil stuntman Xavier Cage has been killed off and Die Another Day's director Lee Tamahori has, er, switched sides.
But, as the new man behind agent XXX, he's again gone too far with his special effects.
James Bond movies had always tried to film real stunts, but in Die Another Day the New Zealander introduced a worrying dependency on unbelievable effects.
The Next Level often looks cheap and tacky as well as xxx-plosive.
With Diesel gone, the returning scar-faced National Security agent Augustus Gibbons (Samuel L Jackson) badly needs... a badder replacement.
Enter jailbird Darius, played by Ice Cube looking a bit too porky to be running across rooftops at the age of 34.
That's part of the fun though, and when he flings himself into midair, even 007 would have a cold sweat. So far, so good for fans of crowdpleasing brainless action.
But with a plot growing ever more wearisome and the effects increasingly half-baked, it can only be time to introduce a couple of lasses with pneumatic boobs.
There's statuesque blonde Sunny Mabrey as Charlie and black bombshell Nona M Gaye as gadget girl Lola.
Even this pair can't do anything to unscramble a story about Willem Dafoe's Secretary of Defence plotting to unseat US President Sanford, enjoyably played by veteran Peter Strauss. At least he's got a bullet train waiting for him three floors beneath the White House (oh yeah!).
Also having limited fun is Underworld star Scott Speedman (Agent Kyle Steele), but a 100-minute film which opens like a sequel to zebra-movie Racing Stripes doesn't give him many mints to chew on.
