But before I get too carried away I would remind you of Argentina's over-familiarity with Michael Owen's low centre of gravity and the sweet realisation that Paul Robinson was feigning injury on Saturday to run down the clock against the pan pipe predators of Ecuador.
Yes - you read that correctly. Robinson was ACTING.
As soul destroying as it was to see Mr Gerrard running the ball into the corner flag when he should have been destroying their defence, at least it was legal, if a little ugly.
But what was beautiful, and what had me jumping from my seat, pounding my fists with pride was Robbo's blatant play acting which helped usher our boys into the last eight.
Finally our lads have worked out that if we can't play fair - don't act fair.
WORLD CUP'S GREATEST ACTORS
1 - Luis Figo
He's got a nose for a face and an eye for the dramatic. This boy goes down quicker than Birmingham City. He plays for Inter Milan.
2 - Arjen Robben
As soon as the ridiculous pre-pubescent whining is taken from his game he'll be half the player he is today. Cry foul I say. He played for Chelsea.
3 - Fabio Grosso
The man that taught the Aussies what it feels like to have a victory snatched from beneath their noses. Lets face it he saved us from the ignominy Australia going as far as us in the competition. He is Italian.
4 - Asamoah Gyan
Still learning but deserves his place on the list through sheer enthusiasm and adventure. Not since that Zaireian blasted the ball out of the stadium from Brazil's free-kick in 1974 have we seen such ignorance of the rules. Fantastic. e plays for Modena. In Italy.
5 - Jurgen Klinsmann
OK he's not playing but he's participating and this man has some serious previous so expect some touchline histrionics when Argentina take his team apart on Friday. He used to play for AC Milan.
By Adam Aspinall
The Italians have been doing this forever and have three World Cups to show for it to our lonely one. Our limp single star above the rampant Three Lions.
This always say die spirit has worked once again thanks to the sniper who took down the aptly named Fabio Grosso in Monday's match against Australia and is the only reason England have to be happy in this World Cup.
Firstly, and lets be honest here, because it was Australia and secondly because it reveals what we have all known for far too long - acting is fun.
Not the wearing tights bit - although Mr Barnes might disagree - but the writhing in agony bit. It's great.
Where you used to have the magic sponge you now have the magic yellow card for simulation which seems to cure players of their ills within seconds.
A case in point being Adriano's Lazarus-like resurrection after trying to 'win' a penalty against the irrepressible Ghana yesterday but the real pleasure's in the pain.
The studied, anguised howl of agony and betrayal that consumes the faces of true artists as they fall to the floor clutching the wrong body part before rolling over too many times.
Everyone can remember Rivaldo's fantastic face-clutching theatrics in Japan 2002 but Thierry Henry managed a similar trick last night after a slight nudge from Carlos Puyol.
So who are this World Cup's budding Kenneth Brannaghs and pouting Johnny Depps?
Mr Robben is the most obvious candidate and takes top marks for diving at times when he'd actually be better off playing on and there is always that sweet comedy pay-off when he glares at the referee for ordering him to get up. You can see his lower lip quiver, it's delightful.
But this competition has been lit up by some sterling performances from some lesser known outposts of football's dark arts.
Take Ghanaian striker Asamoah Gyan. First he feigns ignorance after taking a penalty against the Czech Republic before the referee blew his whistle, then plays dumb after kicking the ball away against Brazil after the referee stopped play and best of all ends up being sent off for an audacious dive in the same game.
At only 21 he's sure to shed such naivety in future and go on to much success, he does play in Italy after all, but the undisputed Queen of the falling down has to be Portugal's Luis Figo.
The perfect combination of a nose and feet, like those tacky wind-up toys you buy at the seaside, he can turn the game in one sumptious moment of drama - and if that fails - heabutt someone so softly they too have to fall down in shock.
Mr Figo was let off the hook by FIFA for his noble conduct against Holland and is ready to terrorise the last survivng chuckle brother Mr Neville on Saturday (should he be fit).
So when England arrive home on Sunday morning they can look back on a tournament in which English football took great strides forward on the world stage but who will rue their lack of skill and grace when compared to Portugal's tumbling artisans.
* WHAT DO YOU THINK? SHOULD ENGLAND LEARN TO DIVE LIKE THE ITALIANS OR ARE YOU SHAMED BY THE THEATRICS OF FIGO, ROBBEN, TOTTI AND CO? CLICK HERE TO GIVE US A PIECE OF YOUR MIND
